Dear Amy: I have been very good friends with “Constance” for decades.
We live in different states and we see each other periodically – we are like sisters.
Constance has responsibility only for herself. I have a family, so they have more disposable income than me.
Constance prides herself on a frugal, “cash-money” lifestyle, yet she integrates with our streaming and shopping services.
I didn’t think it bothered me, but I think so. I think she should offer to pay half the cost. (Note that she has many redeeming qualities, and that’s not a deal breaker.)
We made a light comment about how the prices of these services are increasing and how they now display ads because many people are poking fun at other people’s accounts.
When she inquired about a streaming service we didn’t have, she excitedly let us know that she had “found” access through another friend.
I’ve wondered about others in this predicament (and I know there are others). I would appreciate your perspective on that.
– Leech’s best friend
Dear BFF: Some time ago, someone I know let a friend into one of their streaming accounts. Then that same friend applied the same password to access another streaming account – without asking permission. (The person granting access had foolishly reused their password for other accounts.)
OK – I’m the crazy one. This all happened to me.
In response, I changed ALL my passwords and that was it. (The friendship died a few months later.)
Anyone you share access with can have access to your other data. It is a definite risk.
If you’re willing to keep doing it, ask your friend to pay half the cost – it’s always a great deal for her and her grant could be very helpful in your household.
If she really is “like a sister” to you, well, that’s how sisters should (but not always) settle things: honestly, fairly, and without hard feelings.
If your friend doesn’t use any online or check payment options, they could pay you half the cost of a full year’s subscription by giving you cash.
Alternatively, you can continue to share your account with her, but reframe how you cast her: not as a mooch or leech, but as someone happy to accept your generosity, which you’re happy to bestow.
Dear Amy: Thanks to a DNA search, I discovered a relative that corresponds much more with my first cousin than with me.
After matching with my DNA match and both of us giving it a lot of thought, we concluded that she was probably sired by my uncle – the father of my first cousins - making her their half-sister.
My uncle died a long time ago. The new cousin would like to contact her half-siblings. I also believe they have a right to know about him.
I wouldn’t want to leave the problem to them.
I am not close to these cousins. I live in a totally different part of the country, but keep in touch loosely about once a year.
I need advice on how to handle this situation. My husband says to leave him alone.
Do you have any ideas?
— DNA Match
Dear matched: If you know through the DNA testing site that this person is a closer match to your cousin than to you, then could your cousin be registered on the site as well? If so, the site may already have them associated.
Anyway, it doesn’t seem too complicated to me. You can contact one of these cousins to say, “I located a DNA relative through a testing site. This person also wishes to contact your branch of the family. Can I share your email address with her? »
Once these two branches are connected, you can hope that the graft will repair itself and your family tree will grow successfully. It’s not under your control.
Dear readers: Has your question already been posted in the “Ask Amy” column? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Did you accept or reject my advice? Has the problem you mentioned already been solved?
As part of our ongoing conversation about human behavior and its consequences, I’d like to know how things went for you.
Contact us! Email me at [email protected] Write UPDATE in the subject line and tell me your story.
I am happy to have the opportunity to reconnect.
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